The 1st questions that comes to parents and even girls when deciding to get married is How much the guy earns? Or if he belongs to a rich family. This is the first ever questions that comes to mind and being asked when it comes to marriage. This leads to an understanding how mistaken we are. You must be familiar with the saying:
Have you not come across anyone girl who has got married to an older man, because the guy has lot of money.
Money is definitely a necessary tool for life. But in my opinion, it doesn’t have to be the first question to be raised or considered when it comes to marriage. I am sure you must be aware that successful marriage are based on mutual understanding. Even Love is not the first ingredient of marriage. It understanding of thoughts, values, behaviors, wishes and desires. Unfortunately many young girls skip this understanding part when they fall in love. In the beginning when both are in love, they don’t dare compromising on wishes and desires. Because the initial feeling of love is awesome. And most importantly when 2 people fall in love, they fulfill their desire for Love. Some young girls are mistaken by considering Love as an understanding.
1: The first thing I would like all my readers to note is to differentiate between Love and understanding.
If you are not aware of someone’s value, wishes, desires and behaviors, you can still love that person but you don’t understand that person. Some of you may say, offcourse I understand him because I love him. I would like to remind you of a very famous saying:
Love doesn’t care about behaviors, wishes, or anything else in the purest sense but marriage does. The first ingredient of any marriage is mutual ‘understanding’ that leads to respect.
2: Identify similarities and Clashes of Values
Everyday I come across real life cases, when I counsel people with suicide tendencies. Recently I came across a case study, where the Guy I were counseling mentioned to me that he doesn’t like his girl friend to talk with other guys. This reflects upon his values. What that person would value in his marriage and what he wont. I, as an specialist in Women Empowerment would never suggest anyone to change their values for love. Because it doesn’t last longer. And that’s what I recommended this guy. To remain with his value and be aware of it. This also leads to an understanding of his girlfriend’s value. She values socializing. She enjoys it. And I would never recommend her to change her values for someone who doesn’t value her values.
In my recent survey from girls across the planet, I came to an understanding that 36.5% of girls would marry a guy who doesn’t value her values. This means they will still marry a guy, who doesn’t like you to talk with other guys. And approximately 3% of girls are in a confused state of mind. I doubt they might do this mistake if they didn’t this article. Or didn’t make sense of this article.
3: Jumpout without regret
This Guy I were counseling didn’t agree with my recommendation and wanted to trick the girl for his attention. But here in my article I would like all my readers to learn to differentiate between love and understanding. And believe me once you identify that your values are in clash with opposite sex, its the right time for you to move out of that relationship before its too late and you be hurt.
I reciprocate the same for guys as well. And I say it Out Loud, not to marry a girl who doesn’t value your choices. Many of you, in your head are asking, than what should I do? My answer to them is to find another girl who respect your choices and values. Who is comfortable with it to make you even more comfortable with your choices. Most of us don’t dare leaving the person due to the fear that we might not find love again. Take my words, you will sure fall in love again. Infact you deserve to have someone who would be comfortable with your values, likes and dislikes. Don’t get caught in the early emotions.
Any young girl and their parents, I suggest before you raised question on how much the person earns, you raise question on his values. This will lead to a good, healthy relationship. Even in this modern centaury, I come across cases, when a baby girl was born in a family and the guy left that girl. Because she gave birth to a girl. These are the values which needs to be identified before you marry your daughter. Or before you choose to marry someone.
4: Embrace your Values:
Compromising your values wont bring happiness at all. The first person to acknowledge your likes and dislike is YOU. Once you are clear on what you needs, what you like, what you can give up, when will you give up. Your vibrations will only attract what you need.
For all of you out there, I wish you happiness in your search for love and marriage life.
Jennifer Ali 